The Discipline of Suffering Lyrics
Our hearts are gone now
Our hearts are broken
Ghosts of homes to us remain
To a friend’s unspoken pain
Would it have been worth to turn
Before one set a pillow over my face
Watch me as I learn to unlearn
Mermaids sing as the seasburn
My eyes can’t see
Someone said remember
I can’t remember anything at all
The lies are old but you tell them so well
Will you smile at me again?
Will you find me afterall?
I have squeezed the Universe into a ball.
Over voices dying with a dying fall
There will be time to murder and create
Asleep… Tired… Leaning out of windows.
Will I hear the broken afternoon?
Or understand the day is gone?
Will I know to rise at morning?
When I’ll hammer another nail?
My self can’t be
Someone said remember
I can’t remember anything at all
The lies are old but you tell them so well
Will you smile at me again?
Will you find me afterall?
“- What is it you’re trying to do with your life?
– Play the piano for people.
– I’m not clear. How is it that playing the piano eventualy has resulted in you beeing here at the hospital?
– I sit differently when I play the piano and when I am away from the piano I occasionally look differently from other people… and
this has caused… dislike.”
Light decays in me
I fail my useless days
Everything is real
But I am not here
The rope wasn’t mine
But I wore it tight
Tied-tied to a time
Write-write and remind you of
When we could dream…
Someone said remember
I can’t remember anything at all
The lies are old but you tell them so well
Will you smile at me again?
Will you find me afterall?
The violence of allmost
Made a stranger of me
Worms at my feet eat
My blood and tears.
I am where pity lives
When it is truly dead.
I take my pills, they disappear
The people that I’ve known…
***
Unearthly Altitudes
Escaping from absurdity, there’s always a way out
The means to find the end are so obscure
Gathering up the stage of expressions and company
Unearthly altitudes invite awaiting in the deep
Intentions and goals vanish like thin air
An instant worth a lifetime begun
Existence seemed so real and not just like a dream
A state of thought and peace fuels the special ship
Reason of mind expands unconsciously
Detaching from misery, a single step away
Feel what was meant to happen, happening all around
The dawn lights up the darkness and chases it away
Existence seemed so real and not just like a dream
Exposure of the lowest to the highs
Extended beyond Earth and purpose
The trip that goes so far and stops at emptiness
***
Vello e Hirtë
Shtrihem i vdekur
Fshehur pas pretendimit të një spektri të plotë
Vello e ndryshkur
Që krijon imazhin e një trupi të ngrohtë
Pres prekjen që vjen jo rrallë
E ndjek kutërbimi që ngjall ndjesitë
Mjafton ideja të jesh gjallë
E nuk sheh me kush pas vellos së hirtë
Pas mjerimit të heshtur që vjen pranë
Sheh pafundësi
Përtej verbimit që kanos trishtimi
Vellon e lë mënjanë
Zhytur në llumin e derrave te dhjamosur
Nën hije lakmitarësh të pasosur
Legjione kanibalësh egoistë
Ushqehen nën hijen e vellos time të hirtë
***
I
[PART I]
Awakened from slumber
To a reality or possibility
Entanglement of the inside as the outsider
How is Me defined by who I am
Drifted in time as I stood still
Rushed through space but the ticking stopped
To be or to realizing how I am
Adrift the paradox of flying without movement
Scorched illusion throughout the veins of existence
I took the step to see, but I could not be
Lashed back into existence and all vision ceased
This continuum unperceivable by my un-heightened being
I touched it all, though still stood still
Realizing the lack of recognition
Of I and all that there is
As above and so below
All is I and I is all
Scorched illusion throughout the veins of existence
I took the step to see, but I could not be
Lashed back into existence and all vision ceased
This continuum unperceivable by my un-heightened being
I touched it all, though still stood still
Realizing the lack of recognition
Of I and all that there is
The Universe and in me
All is I and I is all
[PART II]
The innocent humour of this thing,
Drags you down, then up again
How can you stand the same if there is no end?
Stop it please, I want to change!
Don’t you feel the need?
You will realize of the abyss
You’ve been trying to break through,
But look around and understand,
Before you take another step,
In the present you must stand.
Think about what brought you down,
The self that fails to comprehend
That You is I and I is you.
It still laughs at us who do not realize,
Ego is our God and we must kill it to be free!
***
The Unresting
Face the cold morning’s kiss
Piersing once again amiss
Fast forward to the supposed bliss
Or return to another chance at miss
Broken will, carbon soul
Neglected and forgotten
Reducing sparks to coal
How’d I become rotten?
Considering the mirrors of reality
This impecunious shell could not even
Dare to die
Breaking free spares the waste of going through
Never was nor will it be, the last
Nail to this cofffin
Aiming high or not at all, mattered not
As much as stand and look around
Old wisdom speaks
Acknowledge the was or will be
To achieve deliverance from:
“No this is not a bliss!”
Bear with me…
Not in the not-now!
Reflektimi tregon trupin
Por nuk pasqyron
Shpirtin e brengosur
Nen hijet lakmitare qe dhurojne mjerimin
***
The Unresting [alternate lyrics]
Face the cold morning’s kiss,
…(and you wander, tormented)…
Piersing once again
…(bear with me)…
Fast forward to the supposed bliss
…(Will now fill the void)…
…(How’d I become rotten?)…
All in all an empty shell
Dwindling far from tidal waves
…(you are not alone,
You have a grave,
It is your first mother)…
Broken will, carbon soul
Neglected and forgotten
Reducing my sparks to coal
How’d I become rotten?
Considering the mirrors of reality
This impecunious shell could not even
Dare to die
Breaking free spares the waste of going through
Never was nor will it be, the last
Nail to this cofffin
Aiming high or not at all, mattered not
As much as stand and look around
Old wisdom speaks
Acknowledge the was or will be
To achieve deliverance from:
“No this is not a bliss!”
Bear with me…
Not in the not-now!
Reflektimi tregon trupin
Por nuk pasqyron
Shpirtin e brengosur
Nen hijet lakmitare qe dhurojne mjerimin
***
Void of Light
In a moment of silence
When thoughts passed detached
And with a leap of faith
I revealed to myself
The worst would come first
The dark night of the soul
But before you notice
The dawn has come
Among fires and demons’ lust
A saint must come out
To deliver the man
From being forever a child
But Venus deceived him
And his mother became a beast
Guarding the gate
Of the timeless eternity
Where is the sky?
The grace divine
But the distant stars shone
And those became a road
For the pilgrim of the night
To follow the invisible path
But the temple is empty
And void of light
And the wise old man is watching
Who you could become
I watch myself
But who is watching who
Again it’s a thought claiming control
I breathe myself
But I don’t even notice
So I surrender to life´
***